The neurologist characterized Carl’s “progress,” along his rocky Alzheimer’s road, as “medium”.
Thinking about it later, I wondered what “medium” means – really. I must ask when I can.
I’m wondering whether Carl could be on the not-so-good side of “medium”. Or maybe even a bit beyond that. (more…)
Categories: Alzheimer's
Tagged: Alzheimer's, Little things
As I was getting Carl settled this morning, on the couch in the livingroom, with his breakfast Cheereos, coffee, and newspaper, I thought about the several times, in our 33 years together, when he would playfully suggest that I make his coffee – or that I get him some fresh coffee – or whatever other amusing idea popped into his head.
I always declined. Completely apart from the fact that the suggestion was playful, I was wary of getting into that sort of pattern – with coffee – or with any other routine need.
The bitter sweet, ironic agony is that’s exactly what I’m doing today.
Categories: Alzheimer's
Tagged: Alzheimer's
It’s been a rough road, so far. I fear we’re not even close to finished with rough – and then surely there will be even worse.
It’s fairly obvious that someone dealing with cognitive issues is going to be talking to doctors – to understand what they are dealing with – to find out if there’s a way to fix the problem. Or to find out how to make the best of the situation, if it can’t be fixed. (more…)
Categories: Alzheimer's · Research
Tagged: Alzheimer's, Neurologist, Research
I get this withering alone feeling. When I try to share with Carl what’s going on in our lives, and I get an empty, blank response, I find myself feeling abandoned.
At times, I feel guilty about these emotional responses. It seems like maturity and society dictate implacably that I shouldn’t be worrying about these things, much less talking about them. I certainly shouldn’t be writing about them, for all and sundry to see. Sacre bleu!
But further thinking tells me that these feelings are real and substantial. They are a dangerous part of what I’m experiencing – and of what Carl is enduring. They are a grim part of what anyone in a similar situation is feeling.
We ignore them at our peril. (more…)
