Jerome has Died

Jerome was my friend.  And he stopped breathing this morning – June 17, 2009 – at 10:45.

Jerome is Dying

My friend is dying.

Did I tell you that my friend’s name is Jerome?  His middle name is Charles.  That’s where I got the Carl from.

Alzheimer’s: We weather an anxiety attack

My friend had what I interpret as an anxiety attack – big time.

Alzheimer’s: “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”

My friend Carl is saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  And I don’t know what to say back to him – that’ll be any help.

It’s not a good situation – not encouraging at all – for either of us.

Alzheimer’s Disease and Sundowning

Sundowning syndrome – also referred to as sundowning and sunsetting – is a pattern of more severe behavioral symptoms in the late afternoon and evening.  This pattern is common in people with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Alone & Confused

I get this withering alone feeling. When I try to share with Carl what’s going on in our lives, and I get an empty, blank response, I find myself feeling abandoned.

At times, I feel guilty about these emotional responses. It seems like maturity and society dictate implacably that I shouldn’t be worrying about these things, much less talking about them. I certainly shouldn’t be writing about them, for all and sundry to see. Sacre bleu!

But further thinking tells me that these feelings are real and substantial. They are a dangerous part of what I’m experiencing – and of what Carl is enduring. They are a grim part of what anyone in a similar situation is feeling.

We ignore them at our peril.

I see him shutting down

My friend appears to be shutting down. Maybe Carl’s tired. Maybe it’s a temporary thing. Perhaps it will get better. I hope so.

Reestablishing/reinforcing routines seems helpful

Structure and routines were a significant part of Carl’s life. A prime example was his morning routine. It evolved as our circumstances changed, but it always included making coffee, feeding the cat (or cats), taking vitamins, breakfast, reading his newspaper, and then cleaning up and moving on with his day.

Talk with the psychologist

Your friend may have been dealing with depression, that’s true. But the memory loss and cognitive decline are due to dementia.